MILWAUKEE—Noting that he needed to stop ignoring the messages his body was sending him, local man Rob Mandeville told reporters...
PLANTATION, FL—Despite being a grown-ass adult in the year 2024, local resident Stu Jeffries told reporters Tuesday that he still...
After the Iowa star became the all-time Division 1 scoring leader with 3,900 points this year, The Onion interviewed men...
The MTA has demanded $750,000 a year from the organization that runs the New York City Marathon to make up...
LOS ANGELES—Confessing that they couldn’t stand the thought of bursting their teammate’s perfect little bubble, sources confirmed Friday that nobody...
Read more… Source link...
GLENCOE, IL—Noting that she must be some kind of genius to get such amazing results, students told reporters Friday that...
Rather than specify that a government, army, or police officer killed civilians, many news outlets prefer merely to say that...
KERRVILLE, TX—Exasperated with the view from the place they were standing to observe the astronomical event, local spectators complained Monday...
PHILADELPHIA—Triumphantly punching through the air as they dodged an imaginary foe, the shadowboxing nation confirmed this week that they had...
ROME—Following comments that drew an immediate backlash for what critics called an inappropriate and self-serving analogy, sources confirmed Friday that...
NEW YORK—Humiliated by the front-of-house manager’s derision, local diner Geoff Telsey was reportedly forced to wear the maître d’s toupee...
Country music singer Morgan Wallen was arrested after throwing a chair off the roof of a newly six-story bar in...
WEATOGUE, CT—Delivering the message just as their daughters were getting ready to order lunch, the nation’s moms called a press...
LAS VEGAS—With onlookers gasping as the former football star made a big show of being too big for the casket,...
In Paris, 200 servers dressed in their uniforms and carrying trays with a croissant, a cup of coffee, and a...
While many supporters had hoped Donald Trump would support a 15-week federal abortion ban, the former president has instead stated...
Read more… Source link...
Crypto mogul and former CEO of FTX Sam Bankman-Fried was sentenced to 25 years in prison for defrauding hundreds of...
Investigative accountants in South Carolina are struggling to explain the existence of an account belonging to the government containing $1.8...