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PHILADELPHIA—As the players stood around on the field during a timeout in the NFC Championship game, San Francisco 49ers defensive...
WASHINGTON—In an effort to encourage those who were in possession of sensitive items to bring them back as soon as...
Meta has announced that Donald Trump’s Facebook and Instagram accounts will be reinstated, two years after he was suspended over...
Onion Sports shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in the NFL’s Conference Championships....
KYIV, UKRAINE—In a desperate plea for aid in the continued effort to expel his nation’s Russian occupiers, sources reported Friday...
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SAN DIEGO—Remaining unhoused despite the brave sacrifices he made to keep America safe, sources reported Friday that Tinker, a local...
Pop star Justin Bieber has sold the rights to his music to Blackstone-backed Hipgnosis Songs Capital for $200 million, making...
PALM BEACH, FL—Wistfully remarking how things had changed since he left the social media site two years ago, former President...
DAYTON, OH—In an effort to extend his compliments to the alluring shopper after she caught his eye, local man Andrew...
The Doomsday Clock has been moved forward to 90 seconds to midnight, the closest the metaphorical clock has ever been...
After Google recently cut 12,000 jobs, The Onion asked the former employees what they thought about the tech company’s layoffs....
FOND DU LAC, WI—Questioning the accuracy of a recent article in the local newspaper, friends and neighbors of late Fond...
WASHINGTON—Cheering for the incredible sleight-of-hand on display, President Joe Biden reportedly clapped in amazement Tuesday after an FBI agent pulled...
CAMBRIDGE, MA—Following orders to obtain vital scientific knowledge through any means necessary, a team of biologists at Harvard University tortured...
Dominican sailor Elvis Francois was rescued by the Colombian navy after he says his sailboat was swept off to sea...
Florida is barring high school students from taking a new advanced placement course on African American studies, claiming the lessons...
MONTEREY PARK, CA—In the hours following a violent rampage in California in which a lone attacker killed 10 individuals and...