The Transportation Department issued a new rule requiring airlines provide customers with automatic cash refunds in the event of flight...
Recent reports have indicated that a number of female fans are thirsting over the Ghoul. The Onion asked women to...
Click The Image Above To Give Us The Fucking Money Today, billions of readers like yourself navigated to The Onion...
Rather than specify that a government, army, or police officer killed civilians, many news outlets prefer merely to say that...
PHILADELPHIA—Triumphantly punching through the air as they dodged an imaginary foe, the shadowboxing nation confirmed this week that they had...
PARADISE, NV—Expressing bewilderment at the utter lack of spectacle during the jam band’s four-night run in the state-of-the-art entertainment arena,...
Following the arrest of 100 Columbia University students, dozens more pro-Palestinian protests have sprung up across the country, even as...
MIDDLETOWN, OH—Shocked by the trove of mysterious compositions, household sources revealed Wednesday that a bench near the piano had been...
NEW YORK—Violating the judge’s order prohibiting the former president from killing his one-time fixer, Donald Trump was held in contempt...
Taylor Swift’s latest album The Tortured Poets Department dropped Friday, immediately breaking streaming records on Spotify, Amazon Music, and Apple...
CARMEL, IN—Though they had previously approved the style and color, a damning new report released Tuesday found that someone wasn’t...
The so-called Western dating crisis has condemned countless men to a solitary life in which they cannot experience the joy...
JERSEY CITY—Lurking ominously as her unsuspecting prey lay naked with his clothes strewn at the foot of the bed, local...
Lumen, the company that supports 911 some emergency call services, stated that the outages in Nevada, South Dakota, and Nebraska...
DEIR AL-BALAH, GAZA—Following accounts of continued civilian massacres in the Gaza Strip, disturbing reports emerged this week of the Israel...
WASHINGTON—Drawing swift backlash from critics concerned about the agency’s spending, the Internal Revenue Service came under fire Friday for blowing...
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ROME—Following comments that drew an immediate backlash for what critics called an inappropriate and self-serving analogy, sources confirmed Friday that...