GENEVA—Saying frost-covered courts heralded a new direction for the sport, officials from the Geneva Open defended Monday their decision to...
NEW YORK—Shaking a logo-emblazoned cap enticingly over his head, a defense attorney for Sean “Diddy” Combs’ reportedly tossed jurors Cîroc-branded...
GETTYSBURG, PA—Following a fourth chorus of “Kingdom Coming,” fellow participants sternly reminded local Civil War reenactor Christopher Geary that this...
LOS ANGELES—Coinciding with a spike in interest in cars and moving fast, a trend report published Friday by Edmunds Research...
EAU CLAIRE, WI—Massaging their stiff shoulders and necks while remarking that they wish they’d known how good they had it...
The post Critics Praise Benson Boone Album As Finite appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
Firefighters had to rescue a man who got stuck in the chimney of a Connecticut parks building while attempting to...
The post FEMA Head Under Fire After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System appeared first on The Onion. Source...
The post Shroom for Improvement appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
WASHINGTON—Growing increasingly contemplative as he fantasized about a stiff drink after a long day at work, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth...
The post Closeted Pride Parade Takes Place In Garage appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Noting that the change in status was disconcerting and weird for everyone involved, family sources released a report...
Nearly 150 people were jabbed with syringes during a street music festival in France, with authorities having arrested at least...
WASHINGTON—Citing extensive research he had conducted on the matter, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. issued a...
Karate Kid actor and Cobra Kai star Martin Kove was asked to leave a fan convention after biting co-star Alicia...
The post Andrew Cuomo Subpoenas Gynecological Records Of Women Who Didn’t Vote For Him appeared first on The Onion. Source...
Jeff Bezos, Amazon founder and the world’s second richest man, wed his fiancé Lauren Sanchez in a lavish, multi-day ceremony...
The founder of instant messaging app Telegram, Pavel Durov, says the more than 100 children he has fathered will share...
The post Cuomo Makes 11th-Hour Pass At Female New Yorkers appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
LOS ANGELES—Confirming that doctors had performed the procedure successfully, sources reported Friday that Sabrina Carpenter had undergone a state-mandated lobotomy...