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GLENCOE, IL—Noting that she must be some kind of genius to get such amazing results, students told reporters Friday that their pregnant sex ed teacher must really know her stuff. “I’m not saying our other sex ed teachers weren’t good, but Mrs. Collins is clearly in a league of her own to be six months pregnant,” said 14-year-old student Luke Watkins, adding that his teacher must understand a thing or two about the human reproductive system, romantic relationships, and having unprotected sexual intercourse if she was able to conceive a child. “It’s one thing to talk about getting ejaculated into while you’re ovulating and allowing the sperm to fertilize a viable egg, but it’s quite another to actually do it. She must really know her way around her own vagina. I can only hope to be as cool as her some day.” Watkins added that this was even more impressive than the time when Mrs. Collins showed up to work and revealed to everyone in their sex ed class that she had contracted chlamydia.
