Windows will no longer display the operating system’s infamous “blue screen of death” when something goes wrong, removing the signature...
ATLANTA—Reminding you that the views expressed in the show serve as a reflection of your own depravity, a disclaimer that...
WASHINGTON—In a provocative 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court ruled Monday that everyone’s a damn critic these days. “It is this...
Midwestern corn crops are releasing vast amounts of moisture into the air, known as “corn sweat”, which, combined with rising...
GENEVA—Saying frost-covered courts heralded a new direction for the sport, officials from the Geneva Open defended Monday their decision to...
The post Closeted Pride Parade Takes Place In Garage appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
NEW YORK—Shaking a logo-emblazoned cap enticingly over his head, a defense attorney for Sean “Diddy” Combs’ reportedly tossed jurors Cîroc-branded...
ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Noting that the change in status was disconcerting and weird for everyone involved, family sources released a report...
GETTYSBURG, PA—Following a fourth chorus of “Kingdom Coming,” fellow participants sternly reminded local Civil War reenactor Christopher Geary that this...
Nearly 150 people were jabbed with syringes during a street music festival in France, with authorities having arrested at least...
LOS ANGELES—Coinciding with a spike in interest in cars and moving fast, a trend report published Friday by Edmunds Research...
WASHINGTON—Citing extensive research he had conducted on the matter, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. issued a...
EAU CLAIRE, WI—Massaging their stiff shoulders and necks while remarking that they wish they’d known how good they had it...
Karate Kid actor and Cobra Kai star Martin Kove was asked to leave a fan convention after biting co-star Alicia...
The post Critics Praise Benson Boone Album As Finite appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
The post Andrew Cuomo Subpoenas Gynecological Records Of Women Who Didn’t Vote For Him appeared first on The Onion. Source...
Firefighters had to rescue a man who got stuck in the chimney of a Connecticut parks building while attempting to...
Jeff Bezos, Amazon founder and the world’s second richest man, wed his fiancé Lauren Sanchez in a lavish, multi-day ceremony...
The post FEMA Head Under Fire After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System appeared first on The Onion. Source...
The founder of instant messaging app Telegram, Pavel Durov, says the more than 100 children he has fathered will share...