The killer of an Arizona man was sentenced to over 10 years behind bars after his victim spoke to the...
MIAMI—Groaning as he scrolled through the terms and conditions and agreed to hold the platform harmless in the event of...
The post Pope Leo XIV: ‘There Couldn’t Be A Better Time To Get The Fuck Out Of America Forever’ appeared...
DANBURY, CT—Expressing immense satisfaction with the recently purchased device’s performance, area dad Frank Hoyer confirmed Friday that he was impressed...
VATICAN CITY—Angrily stomping on his vestments and throwing his zucchetto on the ground, Cardinal Pietro Parolin told reporters Friday that...
STARBASE, TX—Screaming in terror as he rushed through the raging flames consuming his promised tech utopia, billionaire Elon Musk reportedly...
CHICAGO—A study published Friday by the National Association of Realtors concluded that most millennials will never own a swanky undersea...
After stopping a vehicle whose owner had an active warrant and a suspended driver’s license, police in Ohio were surprised...
The post Conclave Selects First Chicago-Style Pope appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
A Kentucky mom is speaking out after her 8-year-old son unknowingly ordered 30 boxes of Dum-Dums lollipops on Amazon, racking...
THE HEAVENS—Cursing aloud the moment news of Leo XIV’s election arrived on His phone screen, the Lord Almighty told reporters...
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President Donald Trump’s administration said that it is going to pay immigrants who are in the United States illegally and...
President Donald Trump is directing the reopening and expansion of Alcatraz, the notorious former prison on a hard-to-reach California island...
FRESNO, CA—Revealing that all of the company’s customers have been seduced by a hidden monstrosity, Sun-Maid announced Tuesday that the...
The post PBS NewsHour Interrupted By Repo Men Seizing Desk appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
WASHINGTON—Angrily claimings the populace had neglected its patriotic duty to support domestic manufacturing, President Donald Trump issued a statement Tuesday...
WASHINGTON—Questioning the press’s past coverage of the man known as the D.C. sniper, social media users have reportedly begun criticizing...
WASHINGTON—Vowing to restore and revitalize the facilities as a symbol of law, order, and justice, President Donald Trump ordered the...
A great white shark trapped on a sand bank along the coast of Australia was saved by three men who...