Bruce Cooke, 48, died at the aquarium Thursday after his WaveRunner collided with the wall of the dolphin tank. The...
SATIRE NEWS: Study: Anxiety Natural Response To Suited Men Wearing Shades Closing In From All Angles
CAMBRIDGE, MA—Explaining that the emotional state can be a legitimate and even healthy reaction to certain stimuli, a study published...
Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything – The Onion Share Published: October 24, 2024 Explore More Videos Read More Source...
BOULDER, CO—After he single-handedly transformed what was once a humble get-together into a full-on rager, bystanders reported Wednesday that double-jointed...
The world’s first wooden satellite was launched into space in an early test of using timber in lunar and Mars...
STEWARTSTOWN, PA—With Donald Trump decisively winning a second term as president, local sources reported this week that those tireless civil...
The Handmaid’s Pigtail – The Onion Cartoons Share Published: October 24, 2024 More Cartoons Read More Source link...
CHARLESTON, SC—Retreating from the banquet table to deliberate the virtues of roundhouse kicks to the head and submission choke holds,...
Former Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries, his romantic partner, and a third man were arrested on charges of luring...
BRYANT POND, ME—Describing the moment as a “transformative experience” that inspired him to embrace God and read the Bible, a piss-soaked...
Voting in the 2024 presidential election is underway, with candidates Kamala Harris and Donald Trump promising vastly different visions for...
The post Mr. Met’s Head Washes Up On Banks Of East River appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
Former President Donald Trump said at his rally in Green Bay, WI that he would “protect” women “whether the women...
In an appeal to the powerful voting bloc, Trump told a group of influential Amish megadonors that, if elected, he...
Elon Musk claimed that if Donald Trump puts him in charge of government efficiency, as planned, he can cut “at...
PALM BEACH, FL—Asserting that the pair had not been close “for decades” prior to the financier’s death, Donald Trump admitted...
American voters are approaching the 2024 presidential election with deep unease about what could follow, including the potential for political...
John Owens died right on the money Sunday at the average U.S. male life expectancy of 74.8 years old. The...
Harvey Weinstein, the disgraced Hollywood mogul whose alleged sexual misconduct fueled the #MeToo movement, was diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukemia...
The post Undeterred Yankees Fan Attempts To Wrestle World Series Trophy Away From Mookie Betts appeared first on The Onion....