Satire News

The post Felt Beard Taped To Child’s Face Hanging On For Dear Life With Entire Christmas Pageant To Go appeared...

Seasons greetings from your old friend Santa! With Christmas just a few short days away, Santa is hard at work...

The post McConaissance Quietly Concludes appeared first on The Onion. Source link...

UNIVERSITY PARK, PA—Shedding light on the age-old mystery of how anyone could afford the gigantic structures, a study published Thursday...

MACKINSHAW, NE—Emphasizing that he didn’t want to seem paranoid but it was the only way he could make sense of...

WAYNE, NE—After coming together and pooling resources to save Christmas for the town’s most impoverished family, a tight-knit Nebraska community...

The post Blue Drew Barrymore Could’ve Sworn She Saw James Cameron On Schedule appeared first on The Onion. Source link...

TORONTO—Accusing the HBO drama of egregiously misrepresenting their experiences off the ice, the National Hockey League Players’ Association blasted Heated...

Secretary of State Marco Rubio ordered diplomatic correspondences to cease the use of Calibri font and revert to Times New...

Jack Schlossberg, who is best known for his provocative social media presence and for being the grandson of John F....

The post Trump Assures Struggling Nation He Has Plenty Of Money appeared first on The Onion. Source link...

WASHINGTON—Praising the recipients for their acts of true American cowardice, President Donald Trump proudly announced a new “Dodger Dividend” on Wednesday...

The post Travis Kelce Worried Patrick Mahomes’s ACL Tear Will Derail ‘Harlem Shake’ Groomsmen Entrance appeared first on The Onion....

CINCINNATI—Saying she thought it might be fun if they tried something a little different, Dana Grady, wife of Bengals quarterback...

WASHINGTON—Citing an urgent need to spruce up the country’s drab perimeter, Congress allocated $45 million Tuesday to hang fairy lights...

ST. PAUL, MN—Noting that the traditional carol had undergone an unmistakably hardcore sonic shift, a new report published Tuesday found...

The post Downer and Blitzin’ appeared first on The Onion. Source link...

PROVIDENCE, RI—In the hours following a violent rampage in Rhode Island in which a lone attacker killed at least two...

PITTSBURGH—Raising his hands before him as his eyes turned ominously white, the referee of the Steelers–Dolphins game was heard to...