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SATIRE NEWS: Disappointed Phish Fans Expected More From Sphere Visuals Than Projection Of Band’s Website URL

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PARADISE, NV—Expressing bewilderment at the utter lack of spectacle during the jam band’s four-night run in the state-of-the-art entertainment arena, disappointed Phish fans confirmed this week that they were really expecting more from the Sphere’s visuals than a projection of the group’s website URL. “Given what a great live show they usually put on, I really thought [lead singer] Trey [Anastasio] and the guys would have used all the crazy 16K resolution and huge screens to give us something a little trippier than just a hyperlink projected on the ceiling,” said concert attendee Cole Stanak, one of hundreds of longtime Phish fans who described feeling underwhelmed by the words “Please visit http://www.phish.com for more information” displayed around the arena’s 160,000-square-foot screen, citing their expectations of a full-sensory psychedelic audiovisual experience. “I was just kind of expecting more. Like, maybe you could make a gigantic snowcapped mountain during ‘Colonel Forbin’s Ascent,’ or the heavens could tear open and we could start zooming through the cosmos on ‘Divided Sky’? At one point during that 34-minute performance of ‘You Enjoy Myself,’ everyone got excited because Mike Gordon put down his bass and walked over to an onstage laptop. But that was just to make the link bigger and smaller a few times. I guess it was kind of cool when it went to a screensaver that said ‘This Laptop Property of Trey Anastasio’ during the encore, though.” At press time, dozens of gasping fans who ingested LSD before the show stressed that staring up at the hyperlink for three hours straight was one of the most mind-blowing experiences of their life.



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