Local Teen Invents Masturbation – The Onion Share Published: March 11, 2025 Explore More Videos Read More Source link...
BEVERLY HILLS, CA—In an attempt to stay organized as she balances the demands of fame and her personal life, pop...
WASHINGTON—Warning that Americans should brace themselves for an economic “period of transition,” President Donald Trump told reporters Monday that a...
CLEVELAND—Excitedly heading out to yards, balconies, and public parks across the country to reap the wellness benefits, the U.S. populace...
President Trump’s plans for tariffs, including on goods from Canada and Mexico, have left many consumers and investors uneasy. The...
Despite the tide of aquatic opinion flowing in favor of reproductive rights for all, marine society still gives male seahorses...
SAN FRANCISCO—Warning that every flaccid member across the globe now represented a ticking time bomb in his hands, cackling Hims...
The Trump administration briefly listed over 440 federal buildings for sale online before suddenly removing the document, which included major...
The post Erewhon Defends $19 Strawberry: ‘It’s Made To Be Split’ appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
Immigrant Criticizes Swimsuit Competition Portion Of U.S. Citizenship Test – The Onion Share Explore More Videos Read More Source link...
“Cheetozard,” a 3-inch Flamin’ Hot Cheeto shaped like the popular Pokémon character Charizard, has sold at auction for $87,840. What...
Colombian police apprehended a man attempting to smuggle 220 grams of cocaine in small bags hidden under his toupee, which...
The post Trump Renames Eric ‘Eric Of America’ appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
MINNEAPOLIS—In a touching moment that left the terminally ill child excitedly rambling and beaming from ear to ear, witnesses confirmed...
WASHINGTON—Groaning with exhaustion and joint pain after their late bedtime last night, members of Congress were reportedly all groggy Wednesday...
WASHINGTON—Promising a glorious future marked by limitless prosperity for the East Asian nation, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision...
Though he stopped short of urging people to get the shot, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., a noted vaccine...
The post Elon Musk Begins Cabinet Meeting By Putting Index Finger Through Fly Of Pants appeared first on The Onion....
President Donald Trump’s 25% taxes on imports from Mexico and Canada went into effect today, the latest salvo in a...
CHICAGO—A feeling of utter helplessness flooding his nervous system from the very moment he spotted the “enormous” brown paper sack,...