Another season of Nobody Wants This dropped on Netflix, marking a new chapter in the love story between a sex-positive...
WASHINGTON—Claiming that the sacred ash tree had outlived its usefulness and needed to be updated, President Donald Trump made remarks...
THE HEAVENS—Expressing confusion over the primate’s classification as an endangered species on the planet, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father,...
NEW YORK—Attempting to broach the sensitive subject as delicately as possible, Taylor Swift’s wedding planner reportedly asked the artist Friday...
WASHINGTON—Occasionally pausing to rub his bleeding temple as he delivered the statement, visibly bruised Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth declared...
SAN DIEGO—Pausing mid-conversation to shore up any doubts regarding his ability to shoulder adult responsibilities, full-grown 37-year-old man Justin Landry...
As the use of AI increases, data centers are popping up across the country. The Onion shares everything you need...
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WASHINGTON—Acknowledging that he was impressed by the foreign leader’s ability to compromise on all kinds of fixtures, President Donald Trump...
OpenAI has launched a new AI-powered web browser for macOS called ChatGPT Atlas, featuring split-screen chat companion and an agent mode...
FORT WORTH, TX—Catching his breath and wiping the sweat from his brow after he realized it was all just a...
President Trump’s decision to demolish the White House’s East Wing for a $300 million ballroom has provoked public outrage and...
A new five-part docuseries on Apple TV examines the life and career of iconic filmmaker Martin Scorsese. Here are the...
CHICAGO—Revealing a highly calibrated system that he has fine-tuned over a lifetime of trial and error, local man Ken Stafford...
CHICOPEE, MA—Saying that she couldn’t recall a time of familial peace since the early ’90s, area woman Melissa Maynard confirmed...
Prince Andrew relinquished all of his royal titles, including Duke of York, amid ongoing public scrutiny over his ties to...
ATLANTA—Saying the novelty decoration would add the perfect touch to Halloween yard displays, the Home Depot announced Friday it had...
The Louvre Museum in Paris closed temporarily after thieves broke in and stole several priceless Napoleon-era jewels, the brazen seven-minute...
SPENCER, TN—Frustrated at breaking a three-week streak of alcohol abstinence, a white-tailed deer expressed annoyance Monday upon realizing he could...
MONTECITO, CA—Signaling a new chapter in her career, pop star Katy Perry released a new single Monday about the superiority...
















