SHELBURNE, VT—Grinning wide with satisfaction at his successful act of cunning, local man Todd Sansovitch confirmed Friday that he had...
WASHINGTON—Warning that the charge carried a five-year mandatory minimum sentence, the U.S. Department of Justice declared Friday that the distribution...
WASHINGTON—Stressing that they were approaching the future with the utmost seriousness, the nation’s fuckups announced a plan Friday to get...
While Roku already includes video ads peppered throughout the streaming platform, some users have recently reported a preview of Moana...
WASHINGTON—In the wake of soaring egg prices and shortages nationwide, food experts from the U.S. Department of Agriculture released new...
Israel remains in the top 10 list of happiest countries in the world, ranking eighth according to an annual global...
The post Grimes Slaps ‘I Bought This Before Elon Went Crazy’ Sticker On Child appeared first on The Onion. Source...
WASHINGTON—In a move that stunned the global real estate community, President Donald Trump signed an executive order Thursday pulling the United...
Previously holding the title of “world’s ugliest animal,” the lumpy, jelly-like, deep-sea blobfish redeemed its reputation this week when it...
So this is kind of awkward but it’s been on my mind lately and I know it’s probably nothing but...
Harvard announced that undergraduate tuition will be free for students of families who make annual incomes of $200,000 or less,...
WASHINGTON—In a decisive victory for longtime champions of the cause, congressional leaders announced Wednesday the passage of a new federal...
President Donald Trump invoked the Alien Enemies Act for the first time since it was used to intern Japanese immigrants...
Report: You Could Just Lose An Arm One Day – The Onion Share Published: March 18, 2025 Explore More Videos...
A 4-year-old Wisconsin boy called 911 to report that his mom was eating his ice cream, saying she was “being...
WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Finding himself stopped upon entering a building at the Trump International Golf Club, Vice President JD Vance...
FORT WAYNE, IN—Boasting that she could already tell the two would produce beautiful babies, local senile grandma Deborah Hansen tried...
BALTIMORE—In the wake of news that the New York senator had postponed his book tour amid controversy over his vote...
The post Stepson Liked With All Of Man’s Heart appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
WASHINGTON—Slumping back in their chairs and whining at the sight of intravenous lines in their bruised arms, a pale Eric...