SATIRE NEWS: Everything We Know About ‘Joker 2’

It’s unclear how this will factor into the film. Maybe it takes place in ancient Greece?

Finally, films have returned to the length of movies.

There are lots of ways to write dates in the Gregorian calendar system. In Europe, they do month second, so it’d be 4/10/24. Fun, huh?

Gotta pad out this slideshow somehow.

Read your Socrates, your Neoplatonists. Does knowledge even exist?

Heart attack, getting hit by a car, terminal wasting disease. Really a bunch of ways that could take you out in the months before the release of Joker: Folie à Deux.

Despite his jovial wardrobe and rather silly-looking makeup choices, the Joker is, how shall we say, a bit rough around the edges and, by all accounts, takes some getting used to.

Also, the Joker’s enemy is named “the Joker’s Enemy.”

This time, they play that Chicago Bulls song the whole way through—not just on the stairs. Which reminds us…

At different points in the film, characters can be seen walking up and down stairs in various situations.

The actor put on a whopping 500 pounds in just 60 days to prepare for his role as Joker before director Todd Phillips reportedly told Phoenix that no one asked him to do that. He credits losing the excess 375 pounds by cutting out garlic bread.

Despite repeatedly telling yourself that there’s no way the movie will be worth it, you will still go, and you will regret it.

If you look closely, you’ll see him appear in a couple of scenes as the Joker’s hat.

Although Jared Leto no longer plays the Joker in the DC franchises, he still sent terrified actors several bags of his feces to stay in character.

Behold as vaudeville stars Joaquin Phoenix and Lady Gaga stun in dazzling color!

It’s months away, and you really don’t need to pretend a superhero antihero movie by Todd Phillips inspired you to take vengeance on your classmates.

And it’s date night, so they’re definitely going to fuck before, during, and after the movie.

The singer allegedly plays Lady Gaga.

While it may look fun to sing and dance all day with your girlfriend who is also a clown, terrorizing Gotham as the Joker is really hard work.

Gaga performed the entire role with a thick Italian accent that had to be heavily altered in post.

To be fair, though, no movie could ever reach the sublime highs of the 2010 Zac Efron vehicle chronicling the experience of a young man who, while grappling with the loss of his younger brother, discovers a supernatural ability to reconnect with the departed as he navigates love and redemption.

After being unable to do so in the movie’s first installment, Phoenix worked with masters such as Fran Drescher and Jimmy Fallon to hone his skill.

Though a mixture of patience, medical know-how, and good old-fashioned love, the medical professionals at Arkham Asylum have quieted the demons in the Joker, allowing him to live a healthy, productive life.

It’s not worth fighting over. You can just watch the new episode of Below Deck when you get back to your apartment.