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New York: Tuesday, April 30, 2024
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SATIRE NEWS: Consumer Reports Finds Lead, High Sodium Levels In Lunchables

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The advocacy group Consumer Reports found that Lunchables contain potentially dangerous levels of lead, cadmium, and phthalates, as well as nearly half a child’s recommended daily intake of sodium, and has advised the USDA to remove the product from the list of foods available through the National School Lunch Program. What do you think?

“The sooner my kid adapts to high blood pressure, the better.”

Liz Corrales, Ant Breeder

“Now who’s the bad parent for forgetting to pack his kid’s lunch?”

Gary Fluornoy, History Editor

“But it’s a vital source of crackers.”

Scott DeRuiter, systems analyst



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