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New York: Tuesday, April 16, 2024
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SATIRE NEWS: Beta Male On Date Doesn’t Even Try To Murder Woman

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EUREKA SPRINGS, AR—Watching the soy boy miss out on countless opportunities, sources confirmed Tuesday that a local beta male on a date didn’t even try to murder the woman. “Is this limp-dicked cuck gonna strangle that chick or what?” said nearby observer Jason Lindell, noting that the effete half-male hadn’t once slipped roofies into the woman’s drink in order to sexually assault her. “Does he just not have the confidence? He’s paying for the date—he deserves to take her life. This is what’s wrong with America. Men are too scared to stand up and stab their potential romantic partners.” At press time, Lindell had reportedly interrupted the couple to show the woman what homicidal acts a real man was capable of.



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