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Image for article titled Aaron Taylor-Johnson Wondering If Buying Tuxedo More Economical In Long Run Than Renting One For Each ‘Bond’ Film

SATIRE NEWS: Aaron Taylor-Johnson Wondering If Buying Tuxedo More Economical In Long Run Than Renting One For Each ‘Bond’ Film

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LOS ANGELES—As rumors persist that he may be the next actor to take on the franchise’s lead role, Aaron Taylor-Johnson told reporters Monday that he had been wondering whether buying a tuxedo would be more economical in the long run than renting one for each James Bond film. “I know it’s a big splurge, but if I’m going to be the next Bond, I should probably have my own tux instead of going to Men’s Wearhouse for a rental every time we start a new movie,” said Taylor-Johnson, adding that the bills could really start to add up were he to pay $300 for every scene shot at a gala, a castle, or upscale casino with a black-tie dress code. “If it were just one Bond movie, I’d rent, of course—that’s a no-brainer—but I know Daniel Craig really regretted not buying one when he did Casino Royale. Plus, I’d like something that actually fits me. When I rented formal wear for Anna Karenina, it was two sizes too big, and it smelled like someone had just worn it to prom.” At press time, Taylor-Johnson confirmed he would definitely be buying his own tuxedo after Men’s Wearhouse charged him a huge cleaning fee for returning a jacket from 2024’s The Fall Guy with several bullet holes in it.



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