Ryan Walters, Oklahoma’s superintendent of public instruction, has ordered schools to incorporate the Bible into lesson plans for students in...
LOS ANGELES—Appearing stumped by the convicted murderers’ testimony, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Michael Jesic reportedly delayed his decision Thursday...
SEATTLE—Saying the amenity was meant to ease any inconvenience caused by the disruption to his daily routine, Harborview Medical Center...
Take The Cannoli – The Onion Cartoons Share Published: December 4, 2024 More Cartoons Read More Source link...
Study: More Americans Buying Firearms To Defend Selves From Toddlers Who Found Their Guns – The Onion Share Published: December...
President-elect Donald Trump promised to abolish the U.S. Department of Education. The Onion examines the pros and cons of eliminating...
FLORHAM PARK, NJ—Apologizing to fans and pledging to do better in the future, New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers demonstrated...
EL SEGUNDO, CA—Revealing that split ends have grown 50% stronger in just the past decade, a new study published Friday...
Americans all across the nation are gathering today to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. What are you thankful for? “That Moldova...
WASHINGTON—Revealing that retirees have a lot to look forward to after exiting the workforce, the Federal Reserve Survey of Consumer...
The post Nursing Home Hosts Depressing Walker-Decorating Contest appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
Brian Thompson, the CEO of UnitedHealth’s insurance unit, was fatally shot outside a Midtown Manhattan hotel in what police described...
Elton John, singer famed for “Tiny Dancer” and “Rocket Man,” announced to a theater audience that he had lost his...
President-elect Donald Trump pledged to fulfill his campaign promise of removing millions of undocumented immigrants in a “record-setting deportation operation.”...
President Joe Biden pardoned his son Hunter, sparing him a possible prison sentence for federal felony gun and tax convictions...
SPARTA, OH—Noting that her desires were becoming increasingly less subtle, local man Tommy Hull confirmed Monday that his girlfriend, Bess...
NEW YORK—In an effort to support factories that exploit cheap labor but employ 50 or fewer people, American Express announced...
The post Parents Completely Jacked 3 Months Into Retirement appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
SATIRE NEWS: Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Balloon Floats Away After Handlers Let Go To Check Their Phones
The post Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Balloon Floats Away After Handlers Let Go To Check Their Phones appeared first on The...
Manifest Dunce-ity – The Onion Cartoons Share Published: November 27, 2024 More Cartoons Read More Source link...