WASHINGTON—Citing extensive research he had conducted on the matter, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. issued a...
Karate Kid actor and Cobra Kai star Martin Kove was asked to leave a fan convention after biting co-star Alicia...
The post Andrew Cuomo Subpoenas Gynecological Records Of Women Who Didn’t Vote For Him appeared first on The Onion. Source...
Jeff Bezos, Amazon founder and the world’s second richest man, wed his fiancé Lauren Sanchez in a lavish, multi-day ceremony...
The founder of instant messaging app Telegram, Pavel Durov, says the more than 100 children he has fathered will share...
The post Cuomo Makes 11th-Hour Pass At Female New Yorkers appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
LOS ANGELES—Confirming that doctors had performed the procedure successfully, sources reported Friday that Sabrina Carpenter had undergone a state-mandated lobotomy...
WASHINGTON—After weeks of eliminating what many lawmakers called “frivolous” and “unnecessary” provisions, Congress reportedly passed a blank bill Thursday in...
An 80-year-old man has told police he was wrong to drive down Rome’s famed Spanish Steps after firefighters had to...
According to members of the team, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders received a 400% raise last season, with specific rates having...
EAU CLAIRE, WI—Massaging their stiff shoulders and necks while remarking that they wish they’d known how good they had it...
The post Critics Praise Benson Boone Album As Finite appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
Firefighters had to rescue a man who got stuck in the chimney of a Connecticut parks building while attempting to...
The post FEMA Head Under Fire After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System appeared first on The Onion. Source...
The post Shroom for Improvement appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
WASHINGTON—Growing increasingly contemplative as he fantasized about a stiff drink after a long day at work, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth...
WASHINGTON—Stressing that the facade informs nearly every aspect of his daily life, Sen. Josh Hawley (R-MO) told reporters Thursday that...
The following is an open letter from Global Tetrahedron CEO Bryce P. Tetraeder that was included with each copy of The...
ALTOONA, PA—Saying the pampered 6-year-old seemed to think someone should provide her with a midday meal on a regular basis,...
Tina Webb, 25, died Saturday night, becoming the fifth assistant that Xander the Magnificent has burned through in as many...