CLEVELAND—Revealing a vast, forgotten catalog of legitimate pop compositions, a report released Thursday about novelty musical act Michael Joseph Jackson...
AUSTIN, TX—Noting that he’d already claimed to be sick, at a dentist appointment, and tied up with an unexpected 9...
WASHINGTON—Claiming that the sacred ash tree had outlived its usefulness and needed to be updated, President Donald Trump made remarks...
NEW YORK—Attempting to broach the sensitive subject as delicately as possible, Taylor Swift’s wedding planner reportedly asked the artist Friday...
SAN DIEGO—Pausing mid-conversation to shore up any doubts regarding his ability to shoulder adult responsibilities, full-grown 37-year-old man Justin Landry...
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OpenAI has launched a new AI-powered web browser for macOS called ChatGPT Atlas, featuring split-screen chat companion and an agent mode...
President Trump’s decision to demolish the White House’s East Wing for a $300 million ballroom has provoked public outrage and...
CHICAGO—Revealing a highly calibrated system that he has fine-tuned over a lifetime of trial and error, local man Ken Stafford...
Prince Andrew relinquished all of his royal titles, including Duke of York, amid ongoing public scrutiny over his ties to...
The new report revealed that thousands of uncontacted Indigenous peoples around the world are facing increasing dangers, such as contact...
Another season of Nobody Wants This dropped on Netflix, marking a new chapter in the love story between a sex-positive...
THE HEAVENS—Expressing confusion over the primate’s classification as an endangered species on the planet, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father,...
WASHINGTON—Occasionally pausing to rub his bleeding temple as he delivered the statement, visibly bruised Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth declared...
As the use of AI increases, data centers are popping up across the country. The Onion shares everything you need...
WASHINGTON—Acknowledging that he was impressed by the foreign leader’s ability to compromise on all kinds of fixtures, President Donald Trump...
FORT WORTH, TX—Catching his breath and wiping the sweat from his brow after he realized it was all just a...
A new five-part docuseries on Apple TV examines the life and career of iconic filmmaker Martin Scorsese. Here are the...
CHICOPEE, MA—Saying that she couldn’t recall a time of familial peace since the early ’90s, area woman Melissa Maynard confirmed...
ATLANTA—Saying the novelty decoration would add the perfect touch to Halloween yard displays, the Home Depot announced Friday it had...

















