LARCHMONT, NY—Noting the 16-year-old had too big of an inheritance ahead of him to throw it all away, the parents...
NASHVILLE, TN—Adding to an already heaping assortment of books, clothing, and photos that reminded her of soon-to-be ex-husband Keith Urban,...
The post ‘Task’ Teams Up With Wawa For New Fentanyl Brick Hoagie appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
WASHINGTON—Touting a new crime report as evidence their ramped-up operations were improving American life, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials announced...
Saying it desecrates the late entertainers’ legacies, the families of Robin Williams and George Carlin have strongly condemned OpenAI’s new...
The post The Onion Investigates: Jeffrey Epstein appeared first on The Onion. Source link...
Sydney Sweeney Desperately Fishing For Pet Names To Avoid Calling Grown Man ‘Scooter’ – The Onion Published: October 9, 2025...
CHICAGO—In effort to honor the extraordinarily talented and creative individual, a MacArthur ‘genius grant’ was awarded Wednesday to Arkansas man...
ARLINGTON, VA—Saying the Pentagon had acted swiftly on an insider tip about the vessel having a “big adventure” planned, Defense...
The Saturday evening union of D.C. insiders Baines Wright III and Carter Nowak featured several productive breakout sessions with good...
BRECKSVILLE, OH—Speculating that the unnamed individual was unable to find the broadcast on even the most extensive of satellite TV...
PITTSBURGH—In a devastating setback that could sideline the quarterback for weeks, sources confirmed Sunday that Aaron Rodgers suffered a torn...
Paul McCartney Now Openly Referring To Self As ‘Last-Living Beatle’ – The Onion Published: October 10, 2025 Source link...
As Immigration and Customs Enforcement operations ramp up across the country, so has misinformation. The Onion dispels common myths surrounding...
Despite his family’s pleading, Richard Blakely died at age 82 on the nice rug. The post Richard Blakely appeared first...
Supermodel Tyra Banks introduced a warm, drinkable dessert called Hot Mama, describing it as “the world’s first hot ice cream...
Randy Faber, 49, died Saturday after a horn impaling his chest confirmed his severe rhino allergy. The post Randy Faber...
LOS ANGELES—Describing the mood in the clubhouse as eerie and ominous, several members of the Los Angeles Dodgers told reporters...
Former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez faces a felony battery charge after allegedly confronting a 69-year-old truck driver at a hotel...
Treasure hunters recovered more than 1,000 silver and gold coins worth about $1 million from a 1715 Spanish shipwreck off...