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Image for article titled Excavation Of Ancient Pompeii Kitchen Unearths Fully Intact ‘Leave The Gun, Take The Cannoli’ Tea Towel

SATIRE NEWS: Excavation Of Ancient Pompeii Kitchen Unearths Fully Intact ‘Leave The Gun, Take The Cannoli’ Tea Towel

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NAPLES, ITALY—In what is being hailed as a milestone in understanding the civilization that thrived in the region prior to a devastating natural disaster, University of Cambridge archaeologists confirmed Friday that their excavation of ancient Pompeii had unearthed a fully intact “Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli” tea towel. “What this shows us is that the Roman people had a flourishing kitsch culture that made knowing references to their favorite art and culture,” said lead archaeologist Elise Tabrizi, speculating that the well-preserved novelty hand towel would very likely have been popular among elderly aunts in the years leading up to Mount Vesuvius’ eruption in 79 A.D. “It’s remarkable how easy it is to imagine a nonna with this draped over her shoulder, perhaps a big dish of baked ziti in her arms—or whatever the ancient equivalent would have been. Likely, she would have been mockingly threatening to hit her nephew over the head with a wooden spoon before relenting and telling him to ‘eat, eat.’ What an incredible people they were, and what a tragedy it is that all this befell them.” Tabrizi went on to indicate the discovery also showed that modern Italian people truly hadn’t come so far from their ancient predecessors.



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