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SATIRE NEWS: Bench Near Piano Secretly Hiding Books About Music

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MIDDLETOWN, OH—Shocked by the trove of mysterious compositions, household sources revealed Wednesday that a bench near the piano had been secretly hiding several books about music. “My God—ragtime classics, Disney favorites, A Charlie Brown Christmas—does anyone else know about this?” said one source, marveling over the discovery of more than a dozen bound compilations and even loose sheets of paper pertaining to the subject of music. “It’s a little secret chamber, like a speakeasy. How incredible. These have probably been here for who knows how many years. But who’s hiding them? And why? What don’t they want me to know? Maybe they were stashed here during the war, so that prying eyes couldn’t find them.” At press time, sources had taken Piano Adventure Level 2A to be appraised on Antiques Roadshow.



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