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Mercedes McLane, Unemployed
“He looks like he has low standards.”
Alexis Griffin, Biochemist
“I have a thing for men in advanced stages of physical deterioration.”
Loretta Poole, Retired
“He reminds me of a young Ronald Reagan.”
Ava Carter, Lawyer
Teresa Parman, Physical Anthropologist
“Oh, like you’ve never wanted to fuck a sentient corpse.”
Sonya Koch, Landscape Designer
“He may be a quasi-deceased bounty hunter, but at least he has a steady job.”
Nina Zeller, Data Scientist
“Saying I’m attracted to the Ghoul is a good way to annoy my boyfriend enough to turn off the show and let me watch whatever I want.”
Whitney Estes, Lawyer
“I feel like I could fix him.”
Harper Young, Financial Analyst
“He might be a hardass on the outside, but you can tell that deep down below his hardened exterior, he’s an undead cannibal without a heart.”
Hope Austin, Dog Groomer
“The radiation exposure probably made him infertile, so I’d never have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy.”
Julie Winchester, Math Teacher
“It’s easier to lust after existing IP than it is to invent my own original disgusting sexual fantasies.”
Emily Parker, Pediatrician
“There’s just something so sexy about being eaten alive by a deranged psychopath.”
Jessica Hamilton, Marketing Executive
“The work I’ve had done on my face has also turned me into a monster.”
Joelle Scott, Bartender
“Have you met the single men in my town?”
Casey Levy, Attorney
“We both enjoy stabbing dogs.”
Holly Thomas, Medical Student
“He’s like a more cultured, suave Freddy Krueger.”
Sophia Bennett, Marketing Manager
“He looked directly at me midway through episode five and said, ‘I love you—come join me in my television world!’ then extended a hand through the screen. I did, and it’s been great!”
Rachel Lopez, Librarian
“Switch out the cowboy hat for a flat bill and he’s a 10 out of 10.”
Jaclyn Roofner, Cardiologist
“I’d love to scream out ‘the Ghoul!’ in bed.”
Antonia Salazar, Copywriter
“Amazon throws to a commercial every time I try to masturbate to him, which always leaves me wanting more.”
Christina Yates, Graphic Designer
“I feel like I need to date several post-apocalyptic cannibals before I settle down with the right humanoid zombie man.”
Maya Reid, Teacher
“He’s like a handsome version of Walton Goggins.”
Joanna Gold, Pharmacist
“I assume that when he cums, his penis shoots out a cloud of spiders.”