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WASHINGTON—Signing the executive order just minutes after storming off the set, President Donald Trump revoked federal funding for PBS this week after his grandfather clock reportedly received a lower-than-expected Antiques Roadshow appraisal. “For Christ’s sake, $2,500?” said a visibly flabbergasted Trump, who appeared to grow more and more irate as the appraiser explained that the longcase clock was likely a reproduction from the 1980s and not the 19th-century family heirloom the commander-in-chief had claimed it was. “This is solid walnut, handcrafted in the Black Forest. This thing is worth $25,000 at the least. You must be out of your mind. You’re crazy. What are your qualifications, anyway? You people will never see a cent out of me again.” At press time, sources confirmed Trump was scraping the “Made in China” sticker off the clock.