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SATIRE NEWS: Dad Spends Entire Vacation Asking How This Many People Out At Coffee Shops On Weekdays

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SAN DIEGO—Repeatedly questioning how anyone in this city made a living when all they did was hang out and waste their time and money, local dad Keith Dearborn reportedly spent his entire vacation asking how this many people were out at coffee shops on a weekday. “I don’t get it. It’s 12 p.m. on a Wednesday, and this place is packed—doesn’t anyone here have a job?” said Dearborn, loudly adding that back home, people have real responsibilities and can’t just chat, relax, and order overpriced food and drinks with their friends all day. “I’ve been in San Diego for three days, and all I’ve seen is hundreds of full-grown adults milling around, dressed like bums, spending all hours of the day doing nothing with their lives. Is anyone here a banker? A doctor? This is the first vacation I’ve taken in five years!” Having told the barista he was the only one who seemed to be employed in this town, Dearborn could later be heard dressing down the 22-year-old for messing up his order.



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