SATIRE NEWS: Zohran Mamdani Refuses To Share Plan For Making Rich Richer

NEW YORK—Casting doubt on the mayoral candidate’s ability to effectively carry out the duties of the office, critics assailed New York State Rep. Zohran Mamdani Friday for refusing to share his plan to make the rich richer. “Despite repeated calls to release his four-year plan for growing the coffers of our city’s wealthy elite, Mamdani has so far offered few specifics on how he would increase economic inequality as mayor,” said political analyst Susannah Stoughton, adding that Mamdani currently had no information on his campaign website about how he planned to create new billionaires and centimillionaires if elected. “A lot of New Yorkers are sitting at their 30-foot mahogany kitchen tables worrying about how they’re going to make that next superyacht payment, yet Mamdani refuses to directly address their concerns. He dodged multiple questions at the debate about how he would create tax loopholes for Manhattanites making over $5 million per year, and never once discussed subsidies for private jets. At a certain point, Mamdani’s evasiveness raises a big question: Does this man have the political experience necessary to serve the CEOs and fossil fuel heirs of his city?” At press time, critics alleged that Mamdani was also being cagey about his plans for making the poor poorer.