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SATIRE NEWS: White House Aide Fired After Telling JD Vance About Super

SATIRE NEWS: White House Aide Fired After Telling JD Vance About Super Bowl Party 

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WASHINGTON—Insisting the terminated worker had violated the terms of her employment by leaking highly sensitive information, the White House announced Monday that longtime aide Sandra Wilton had been fired for telling Vice President JD Vance about an upcoming Super Bowl party. “It’s difficult to imagine how this employee believed it was acceptable to reveal details of the West Wing Super Bowl party to Vance despite being sworn to secrecy,” said a source within the White House, adding that Wilton had been immediately escorted from the executive mansion and barred from returning after it was determined she had mentioned to Vance that the gathering would be potluck style and the organizers still needed someone to bring a queso dip. “Starting time? Location? This is privileged information. It doesn’t matter how many times the vice president mentioned that he didn’t have any real plans for Sunday. And it’s way too late to change where we’re doing it now. Jesus Christ, how do you get any clearer than ‘Don’t tell JD’?” At press time, the White House announced that it was pursuing legal action against the aide after discovering she had also divulged to Vance that the West Wing had regular Friday happy hours.





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