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New work requirements for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program have gone into effect across the nation, threatening benefits for millions of Americans. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the new SNAP restrictions.
Q: Why were new work requirements put in place?
A: Barb Klimath of La Crosse, WI, saw someone pay for a coke with EBT and absolutely freaked out.
Q: What if I have children?
A: Thanks to your forthcoming reduction in SNAP benefits, you won’t have to worry about that for much longer.
Q: What will meeting the 80 hours per month minimum work requirement entitle recipients to?
A: They will be granted access to wet food on top of their kibble.
Q: What sort of training will SNAP beneficiaries need to complete?
A: A mandated 45-minute course designed to teach them what a scum-sucking parasite they are for relying on government funds.
Q: Have there been any changes to the types of food that can be purchased through SNAP?
A: The definition of “hot foods” has been expanded to include any food that tastes good.