SATIRE NEWS: Trump Shares Own Experiences As Victim Of White Genocide

WASHINGTON—Saying the plight of white South African farmers affected him on a deeply personal level, President Donald Trump issued a statement Thursday in which he shared his own experiences as a victim of white genocide. “I’ve kept quiet about my past out of a fear that I could still be persecuted, but I too know what it’s like to live under a Black president who wants to see your entire race destroyed,” said Trump, adding that he had narrowly survived the attempt to eradicate white people and their culture by hiding for months in his 126-room Palm Beach resort. “I’ve seen firsthand the terrible power of anti-white hatred, having been forced to flee my Trump Tower penthouse in the middle of the night with nothing but the suit on my back. They mainly came for whites, but heterosexuals and Christians were also killed and thrown atop a scrap heap. As painful as it still is to talk about, I cannot stay silent while innocent whites in another country face the same horrifying persecution I did. I believe it is my duty as a survivor to provide testimony so that Blacks, Asians, and Native Americans, who have never experienced such hardship for themselves, can learn about the ethnic cleansing of whites, something that should never be allowed to happen again.” President Trump also announced that construction would begin on a White Genocide Museum in Washington, D.C. once several museums commemorating the history of less important races had been razed to provide the space.