SATIRE NEWS: TLC Sues ‘1000-Lb Sisters’ For Losing Weight

SILVER SPRING, MD—Accusing the pair of a severe breach of contract, TLC filed a lawsuit Wednesday against the stars of 1000-lb Sisters for losing too much weight. “We are asking both Tammy and Amy Slaton to return to their original sizes immediately,” said TLC spokesperson Richard Lemmers, who alleged that the reality series stars had conspired to lose over 650 pounds collectively despite signing a contract with the network in 2019 in which they promised to weigh, combined, a minimum of half a ton. “They knew what they were agreeing to when they signed their names on that dotted line. In fact, when the elder Slaton was served her summons, she was standing on her own two feet. This blatantly flies in the face of the legal agreement they made with TLC. Exacerbating matters, we are alarmed to learn that Tammy Slaton has undergone skin removal surgery. We are demanding that she have it swiftly reattached.” The judge assigned to the case immediately issued a summary judgment siding with the plaintiff and ordering the sisters to wear fat suits until they had fully regained the weight.