SATIRE NEWS: Timeline Of U.S. Interventions In Latin America

The Trump administration’s strikes on Venezuela are part of a long history of American involvement in the region. The Onion looks back at the history of U.S. interventions in Latin America. 

500 B.C.

So far so good.

1899

The United Fruit Company begins its noble quest to spread the love of healthy eating throughout Latin America.

1960

The CIA does a team-building off-site in Ecuador.

1963

The U.S. tries to assassinate Fidel Castro by sending him a box of exploding cigars, following unsuccessful attempts using a snake in a can and shocking gum.

1983

Ronald Reagan turns the small island nation of Grenada into a perennial pub trivia answer.

1987

Belize continues to hope the U.S. doesn’t really notice it’s there.

2003

Details to be declassified in 2053.

2017

“Despacito” is remixed by Justin Bieber. 

2024

Linzie’s bachelorette party seizes violent control of the Hilton Tulum Riviera Maya all-inclusive resort.