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Satire news: the u.s. open by the numbers

SATIRE NEWS: The U.S. Open By The Numbers

๐Ÿ”ด Website ๐Ÿ‘‰ https://u-s-news.com/
Telegram ๐Ÿ‘‰ https://t.me/usnewscom_channel

Jannik Sinner, Coco Gauff, and more of the worldโ€™s top tennis players are squaring off in New York for a major title in the fourth and final Grand Slam of the year. The Onion examines the key facts and figures behind the U.S. Open.

29:

Ball boys worn through in the average match

1.5:

Hours the tennis balls are allowed to roam freely each day

1990:

Year spectators barred from using distracting leaf blowers in stands



2 million:

People who thought this one was golf

8th Dimension:

Home of alternate reality in which Menendez brothers win menโ€™s doubles tournament

14.5 Miles:

Sound blast radius of Aryna Sabalenkaโ€™s grunt

9:

Serves per game driven directly into jiggling flesh of streaker

84:

Hours until the NFL kicks off

1:

Player whose hard work wonโ€™t have been a giant waste of time



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