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Satire news: the onion’s exclusive interview with lorde 

SATIRE NEWS: The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Lorde 

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New Zealand singer-songwriter Lorde has released Virgin, her fourth studio album. The Onion sat down with the artist to discuss identity, inspiration, and what’s next.

The Onion: How has your music evolved as you’ve gotten older?

Lorde: When I was younger I was really intimidated by the black keys on the piano, but now I can’t get enough of them.

The Onion: What inspired the X-ray album cover?

Lorde: It’s an homage to the TV show Bones.

The Onion: Are you touring soon?

Lorde: I hope not. I just signed up for a pizza-making class.



The Onion: Whats your writing process like?

Lorde: My secretary types up my thoughts and faxes them to Jack Antonoff.

The Onion: Who are some artists you’d like to collaborate with in the future?

Lorde: I’ve always wanted to work with one of those guys who paints themselves silver and pretends to be a statue.

The Onion: You’ve described yourself as “in the middle gender-wise.” What does this mean to you?

Lorde: Sitting on a horse in oversized Wranglers, no top. Alternatively, standing barefoot in the rain in a wedding dress. And in both of these scenarios it’s heavily implied that I’m a ghost.

The Onion: What are some things to consider when tying a bowline knot?

Lorde: The bowline is an extremely secure knot, but can be hard to adjust. It all comes down to context.

The Onion: What’s next for you?

Lorde: Disappearing into some tall grass. 



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