SATIRE NEWS: Tesla Employees Scramble To Make Office Look Like They’ve Been Sleeping There

AUSTIN, TX—In an effort to give the impression that they had been burning the midnight oil while CEO Elon Musk was away in Washington, D.C., employees at Tesla reportedly scrambled Thursday to make the office look like they’d been sleeping there. “Elon’s going to be back any minute, so make sure to throw some dirty clothes next to the bathroom sink to make it seem like we’ve been showering here,” said Tesla engineer Todd Costello, who appeared panicked as he scarfed down pizza and threw the crusts all over his coworkers’ desks, explaining that his boss would be furious if he found out the staff had experienced even a semblance of work-life balance over the past few months. “Better start inflating the air mattress in the boardroom. Oh, and we should throw some used toothbrushes around the kitchen while we’re at it. While you guys do that, I’m just going to piss in the corner real quick to get a rank smell going.” At press time, Musk was reportedly too strung out on ketamine to acknowledge the state of the office.