SATIRE NEWS: Study Finds Federal Food Assistance Slows Cognitive Decline

Satire news: hacked elmo account posts antisemitic messages

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A National Institutes of Health-funded study found that older adults who participated in SNAP showed a slower rate of cognitive decline than people who were eligible for the food assistance program but didn’t receive benefits. What do you think?

“I wonder if food has other benefits as well.”

Amelia Coltan, Peppercorn Packager


“Filling out mountains of paperwork is a great mental exercise.”

Ed Meyerowitz, Mattress Roller


“I’ve only heard bad things about food.”

Carlos Ramos, Lathe Supervisor



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