SATIRE NEWS: Starbucks Reintroduces Tiers To Loyalty Program

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Starbucks is reintroducing tiers to its loyalty program as part of a bid to entice consumers to visit more often, with the company claiming the current system doesn’t properly reward its most loyal customers. What do you think?

“Call me when they get an animatronic band.”

Jason Pearce, Donut Sprinkler


“Finally, a hierarchy I’ve got a shot in.”

Nikolay Galanis, Cigar Packager


“A simple pat on the head would suffice.”

Denise Salazar, Truffle Shaver



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