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Vince Offer, the once-prominent infomercial pitchman better known as the “ShamWow guy,” has filed to run as a Republican in Texas’s 31st congressional district, claiming he wants to “destroy wokeism” in Congress and “make America happy.” What do you think?
“How absorbent are his opponent’s towels?”
Mario Lobo, Replica Appraiser
“He’ll poll well with the sizable bloc of voters who are overwhelmed by spills.”
Penny Norfolk, Doll Clothier
“Anyone with a proven track record of battering women has my vote.”
Troy Powell, Cellophane Expert