SATIRE NEWS: Senile Grandma Tries To Set Up Grandkids With Each Other

FORT WAYNE, IN—Boasting that she could already tell the two would produce beautiful babies, local senile grandma Deborah Hansen tried to set her grandkids up with each other, alarmed sources confirmed Monday. “You know, my lovely granddaughter here likes computers just like you do, and she’s single,” Hansen reportedly told her 29-year-old grandson Zach while nudging his 17-year-old cousin Andrea toward him. “Andrea, isn’t Zach handsome? You have so much in common. Why don’t I leave you two to chat and get to know each other better.” At press time, sources reported Hansen had been taken home early after repeatedly calling Zach by her late husband’s name and attempting to open-mouth kiss him.