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Satire News: Unitedhealthcare Ceo Killed

SATIRE NEWS: Rand Paul Floats Elon Musk For House Speaker

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Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) is floating Elon Musk to be Speaker of the House after the powerful tech billionaire helped torpedo a bipartisan agreement on a short-term spending bill, a move made possible by the fact that the Constitution does not specify that the House Speaker must be a member of the chamber. What do you think?

“If there’s anyone who knows how to be a useless figurehead, it’s Elon Musk.”

Max Flores, Unemployed


“That kind of legal workaround should be reserved only for dogs playing basketball.”

Clara Hechtman, Pickleball Coach


“Is there anything Elon can’t pretend to do?”

Joshua Brizuela, Utensil Organizer



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