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GOP lawmakers in the House and Senate officially passed Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill,” including provisions that slashed funding for public health care programs by more than $1 trillion. The Onion examines the pros and cons of these steep cuts to Medicaid.
PRO
Will finally motivate poor Americans who’ve been putting off becoming billionaires
Fewer people alive to compete for defunded SNAP benefits
U.S. poised for renaissance of shamanic healing
Street value of expired medicines about to skyrocket
Just jumped 17,000 spots on liver transplant list
Scenic, 200-mile drive to local hospital
A portmanteau? Tacky
CON
Sidewalks clogged with people “walking it off”
Housekeeper too sick to come clean
MrBeast now only chance of getting insulin
Need backhoe certification to dig mass grave
Already too many ghosts