SATIRE NEWS: PBS Already Had Maggie Smith Marathon Scheduled For Today

ARLINGTON, VA—Admitting they had not been keeping up on recent news about the venerable British actress, PBS officials told reporters Friday that they already had a Maggie Smith–themed marathon planned for today. “Yes, we have been receiving quite a few messages about our regularly scheduled Weekend Of Dame Maggie marathon,” said PBS spokeswoman Sandra Ryan, describing the three-day television event as the perfect way to honor the grand dame of stage and screen’s “contributions to the art of acting” through hours of her dry wit and inimitable presence in period dramas and stage adaptations from across her career. “We’re sure viewers are going to love her in Othello, A Room With A View, Gosford Park, Death On The Nile, Quartet, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, and, of course, a complete rerun of all six unforgettable seasons of Downton Abbey. May she keep gracing our screens for years to come.” At press time, PBS released demographic analysis showing that hundreds of thousands of elderly aunts and grandmothers had already settled in to watch the marathon, as they did every year.