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MANCHESTER, NH—Blasting the individual for barely shuffling his goddamn feet and not even touching the glass, area man Owen Hodges confirmed Thursday that the other guy in the revolving door wasn’t doing shit to help move the thing. “Why do I have to put in all the work while this fucking freeloader gets off easy?” said Hodges, adding that this asshole would be stuck there all day if Hodges weren’t going the extra mile. “No, no, I don’t mind pushing this heavy door all by myself so you can take a phone call—no, I don’t mind at all, dickhead.” Later, at the exact moment when a defiant Hodges began protesting the injustice by refusing to push any longer, the other guy reportedly exited the revolving door.