SATIRE NEWS: Office NCAA Bracket Marks Yearly Interaction With Coworkers

CHICAGO—Sources confirmed Thursday that more than two dozen employees of logistics company LQR Freight had reluctantly agreed to participate in their office’s March Madness pool, thus marking their single annual interaction with one another. “Mike was in the kitchen handing everyone printouts, and it was the first time we’d spoken since I told him ‘I think Duke’s going all the way’ this time last year,” LQR project manager Lee Zander said as he hastily filled out a bracket and venmoed $2 for “Bball” to a person named Zach Dunn, whom Zander assumed must be employed somewhere in the company. “Couldn’t tell you what he does or even what department he’s in, but my email’s on the form, so he should be able to find me if I win. I think I’d get a $50 Amazon gift card or something.” By press time, nearly every employee at the company had reportedly muted the newly created Slack channel titled “Madness ’26.”