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WASHINGTON—In an apparent effort to tamp down on recent speculation about their relationship, Barack and Michelle Obama reportedly showed off their vibrant marriage Friday by inviting the nation to join them in the boudoir. “Obviously, there have been some rumors swirling around myself and Michelle, and we’d like to put that to rest by letting the country into our bedroom to see the kind of passionate lovemaking we still embark on every night,” the former president said as he wrapped an arm around his wife and beckoned to all 340 million Americans. “The truth is we have never loved each other more. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable in the corner. I’ll blow out these candles. Y’know, if you pay attention, you’ll kind of see how I anticipate every one of Michelle’s needs—as she does mine. That’s the kind of sexual understanding that only comes with time. And hey, if one of you wants to reach in and give us a hand, feel free. No worries at all. This bedroom is a no-judgment zone.” After the 82-year-old was seen peering out of the closet, Obama told the nation to pay no attention to former President Joe Biden, stressing that he was just there to watch.