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SOUTH PLAINFIELD, NJ—Having been informed that he canceled a major stop on his big world tour just to be with them on a Thursday afternoon, residents at Golden Horizons Senior Care Center were told the man playing accordion for them in the facility’s dining room was Billy Joel. “That’s right, folks, the Piano Man himself will be playing all the hits that made him a global sensation!” recreation coordinator Charles Milton said as polite applause followed the opening number, which according to Milton was probably “Uptown Girl.” “You said you liked him—right, Linda? And I can tell Marcella and Stanley are in a New York state of mind! What are you gonna do next, Billy? “Allentown”? Or will it be “Only The Good Die Young”? I hope everybody sticks around, because we’ve got Jimmy Buffett coming up next.” Milton went on to clarify that guest performers do not reflect the views of Golden Horizons Senior Care Center after the man said to be Billy Joel launched into an unexpected monologue about how Barack Obama was not born in the United States, receiving a standing ovation.