SATIRE NEWS: Novelty Car Horn Playing ‘La Cucaracha’ Sends Stephen Miller Into Dissociative Fugue State

WASHINGTON—Causing the White House deputy chief of staff to experience intense psychological distress, a novelty car horn playing “La Cucaracha” reportedly sent Stephen Miller into a dissociative fugue state Friday. “I saw him walking down the street when the horn sounded, and he froze in place for a full minute and then began shaking all over,” said onlooker Leanne Ossing, confirming that as soon as the first few notes of the Spanish folk song’s melody hit Miller’s ears, his eyes rolled back in his head, and he began drooling profusely. “At first I was worried and thought about calling an ambulance. He just stood there with glazed eyes and an odd smile spreading across his face, and after a while he started repeating, ‘Ya no puede caminar, ya no puede caminar,’ over and over again in perfect Spanish. It was eerie.” At press time, sources reported that a disoriented Miller had been found covered in blood outside an Immigration and Customs Enforcement detention center.