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Satire News: Nick Sirianni To Eagles Fans: ‘i Hate All

SATIRE NEWS: Nick Sirianni To Eagles Fans: ‘I Hate All Of You, Fuck You’

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NEW ORLEANS—Delivering the fiery, expletive-laden remarks at a postgame press conference after winning Super Bowl LIX, Philadelphia Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni told Eagles fans Sunday, “I hate all of you, fuck you.” “It’s sad to think how much greater the Eagles’ legacy would be if it didn’t have a worthless fanbase filled with such total fucking pricks,” said Sirianni, who added that Eagles fans were loud, rude, and obnoxious assholes before he went on to announce, “This is for you,” and flipped the double birds. “The Eagles won this championship. You arrogant pieces of shit had nothing to do with our victory, and you don’t deserve to celebrate. Honestly, it would have been so much easier to accomplish without the support of you nasty-ass fucking slobs who don’t know ball. Shit town. Shit people. Blow me, assholes.” At press time, Sirianni expressed hope that rioting Eagles fans would burn down Philadelphia and die painfully in the flames.





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