SATIRE NEWS: New Kid Easily Wins Over Classroom With Belly Tricks

CRYSTAL LAKE, IL—With a crowd gathering around the new kid as word of his charming antics quickly spread among his peers, witnesses confirmed Tuesday that local fourth grader Billy Donaldson had easily won over his new classmates by performing belly tricks. “Look, the new kid is making his belly really big like a balloon!” said Katie Henderson, who, along with the 23 other students in Donaldson’s class at McHenry Elementary School, reported the 9-year-old stranger had almost immediately endeared himself to them by enthusiastically slapping his inflated stomach as if it were a conga drum. “When the teacher asked him to introduce himself, he just stood up from his chair, lifted his Minecraft T-shirt, and made his belly roll over and over. We all started cheering when he folded it in half and made it talk to Ms. Peterson. If he can really make his belly loudly slosh around after drinking a lot of milk like he says, he will rule this school.” According to sources, Donaldson’s popularity at his new school continued to skyrocket after he was observed flicking his cheek to make a water drop sound.