SATIRE NEWS: National Beef Council Debuts New ‘You’re Supposed To Feel Like That’ Campaign

CENTENNIAL, CO—With a series of television ads that will run in all major media markets and feature dozens of bloated, wincing celebrities, industry trade group the National Beef Council debuted its new “You’re Supposed To Feel Like That” campaign on Friday. “If your stomach hurts and you feel sleepy, that just means the beef is working,” the Emmy-nominated actress Sydney Sweeney says in one of the ads before taking a large, sensual bite of a hamburger as words like “intestinal cramping,” “acne,” and “heart disease” appear on the screen. “Sure, you may need to sprint to the bathroom, but that’s the point. If you’re not doubled over, shaking, and sweating through your shirt, then you need to eat more beef. You should be able to feel the beef in your colon.” The National Beef Council has simultaneously launched billboard and glossy magazine ads that feature a row of coffins with the tagline “Beef: It’s supposed to kill you.”