SATIRE NEWS: Milwaukee Removes Fonzie Statue Amid Reckoning With Greaser Past

MILWAUKEE—Calling the effort a long overdue attempt to address the city’s checkered history, Milwaukee officials announced Friday that they had removed the iconic riverfront Fonzie statue amid an ongoing reckoning with the town’s greaser past. “In the year 2025, no one should be celebrating the dark era in this city when motorcycles, leather jackets, and necking dominated our streets,” said Mayor Cavalier Johnson, who held a press conference at the former site of the controversial statue known as the Bronze Fonz, telling Milwaukeeans it was also time to consider renaming Pinky Tuscadero Park. “It’s hard to imagine being a young buttoned-up square or egghead walking past this monument, knowing full well that it commemorated a man who might have revved his engine at you at any moment. Of course, there’s a sanitized narrative that being a greaser was all thumbs-up and fixing jukeboxes. But we know better than that. We should be condemning Arthur Fonzarelli for repeatedly urging Ralph Malph and Potsie to ‘sit on it’—not preserving him in bronze.” Johnson added that the city planned to melt down the statue to make a soda fountain where bobby-soxers could congregate without fear of being creamed.