SATIRE NEWS: ‘Maybe Hot Dog Will Make Wife Feel Better,’ Thinks Husband No Closer To Fixing Things

CLEVELAND—In a well-meaning but ultimately futile attempt at emotional support, Chuck Fineman, a local husband who was no closer to fixing things, was thinking “Maybe hot dog will make wife feel better,” sources confirmed Friday. “Hot dog tastes good, and wife likes things that taste good,” Fineman reportedly thought to himself, putting together a plan to place a hot dog in a bun and hand it to his spouse that would have no measurable positive effect on her whatsoever. “Wife sad, but wife likes hot dog. Hot dog make wife happy? No, wife still sad.” At press time, an undeterred Fineman was said to be devising a new strategy after remembering that “wife likes hamburger, too.”