SATIRE NEWS: Man Forgetting Difference Between Meteoroid, Meteorite Struggles To Describe What Just Killed His Dog

TORONTO—Though he tried hard to recall what he had learned about space rocks back in middle school, local man Jason Nieto reportedly forgot the difference between meteoroids and meteorites Thursday, struggling to describe what had just killed his dog. “God, I always forgot which one is the kind that actually hits the ground, if that’s even the difference, so I’m not sure what just crushed Churro,” said Nieto, explaining that the meteorite or meteoroid—or maybe asteroid, if that was a category including all of them—came streaking out of the clouds while he was walking his Pomeranian in the park. “If it hadn’t left a crater where Churro was and had just burned up in the atmosphere, then that’s a meteoroid, right? One of them kills dogs in space in orbit, and the other kills dogs on Earth. I just can’t remember which is which. Oh wait, shit, there’s also just a ‘meteor’ too, isn’t there? What am I supposed to tell the vet when I bring the ashes over?” At press time, reports confirmed a stumped Nieto was frantically searching his phone to see if it mattered that the space rock had exploded when it hit his dog.